Every time I sit down to blog, it seems I have nothing but some kind of lamentation to offer. Grief is a complicated thing. I think I've been getting stuck on the anger stage. I even told this to the bishop and he said, "drink a little holy water every day," and he made the sign of the cross over my heart. To my shame, I have not obeyed this very simple and immeasurably helpful spiritual directive.
Cheryl needs encouraging but my mind only wants me to say unhelpful things like "don't think that way" or "don't do that." That's all garbage. To hell with negations. What I need to say are things like "do you remember when Fr. John said or did ..." or repeat back what it sounds like she is saying to make sure I understand or ask if I can get her a cup of tea.
On a side note. Blogging is helpful but I'm slowly convincing myself it's a better idea to do some journaling with a pen and paper before blogging. But at the same time, I really want to keep people whom I love up to date on my life and inner-monologue. I'm not sure what I think about it just yet.
Cheryl needs encouraging but my mind only wants me to say unhelpful things like "don't think that way" or "don't do that." That's all garbage. To hell with negations. What I need to say are things like "do you remember when Fr. John said or did ..." or repeat back what it sounds like she is saying to make sure I understand or ask if I can get her a cup of tea.
On a side note. Blogging is helpful but I'm slowly convincing myself it's a better idea to do some journaling with a pen and paper before blogging. But at the same time, I really want to keep people whom I love up to date on my life and inner-monologue. I'm not sure what I think about it just yet.
posted by Enthymemosis at 2:38 p.m.
7 Comments:
yes, I am finding the need for balance. I sort of tried to stop the blog, but I don't think that is the answer, but more paper is good too. be safe Matthew, don't fear, it won't always feel like this, its hard to pinpoint our hurt sometimes, but don't fear.
I will pray, and thanks for the microwave. apparently Tessa and I now have your old one from Paul and Heidi's house. Tessa and Jonny are dating, so that is pretty fun. they are so cute and silly. I watched casablanca tonight with greg and rhiannon and Dan and Graham, and I rode in your old car.
see you this summer, so keep writing so we can at least be e=friends for now.
Dave
hm.
for my part, matthew, I have to say I am so so encouraged by what you write.
online journaling is an 'odd creature', but it's not, I think, false.
give my love to cheryl. I haven't seen her post for a while.
I hope all is well. you always have a home here.
prayers continued; and love...
Hey Matthew.
I too appreciate your words. Write when you can.
I also think pen to paper is a good idea; a rather lost art like letter writing. Which I keep meaning to do but, ...
Give a big hug to Cheryl for me. I picked up some photos from the spring and there is one with Cheryl and I at Paschal Vespers. I will post it to you.
Hey Matthew.
I too appreciate your words. Write when you can.
I also think pen to paper is a good idea; a rather lost art like letter writing. Which I keep meaning to do but, ...
Give a big hug to Cheryl for me. I picked up some photos from the spring and there is one with Cheryl and I at Paschal Vespers. I will post it to you.
right. yup. me and Risenmag, bosom buddies. I want to be trendy to attract the trendies to church.
oh, btw, go to
www.xanga.com/jonnycran
and you will remember your home just a little more.
pacem
zeke! where did your thoughts go?
I sometimes remember with fondness that odd afternoon when you taught sid and I to drink scotch. I think it was ballantynes finest. I am grateful.
how are you guys doing?
Dave
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